Everything the best man (or woman) needs to know, all in one place.
The wedding best man is more than just the lead groomsman. There are numerous best man duties that are unique to the role, namely to be the groom's go-to confidante, personal valet and logistics guru for prewedding events and day-of details. For those who have never been—or had—a best man before, this may all seem a bit daunting, but it's really all about supporting the groom during the wedding planning process and on the big day and serving as the point person for the groomsmen.
Ready to get started? Here's your official, comprehensive guide to not only how to be a good best man—but how to be the best best man!
In this article:
- What Does Being a Best Man Mean?
- Printable Best Man Duties Checklist
- What a Best Man Does, in Detail
- Best Man vs. Groomsmen Responsibilities
What Does Being a Best Man Mean?
The best man meaning, when all is said and done, is the groom's right-hand man. While not every wedding has a best man (which is more than okay!), traditionally, there is one best man in the wedding party. As for who is the best man, the role can be filled by the to-be-wed's brother, best friend, or the groom's dad (there can even be more than one best man or a best woman). This person is asked to stand by the groom's side to support and assist in any way possible before and during the wedding. The best man is also in charge of the groomsmen, meaning he leads all communication and spearheads most of their activities and duties.
Printable Best Man Duties Checklist
Being the best man is an honor, but it's also a lot. That's why we put together this checklist of best man duties and responsibilities you can print, add to your wedding Pinterest board or save to your phone for easy access.
Design: Tiana Crispino
What a Best Man Does, in Detail
So, what does a best man do? Though the best man definition can be as unique as each person who fills the role, there are some traditional duties of a best man one should keep in mind.
Read on to learn exactly what should a best man do, aka the ultimate best man responsibilities checklist!
1. Lead the Rest of the Pack
So, what is the role of a best man? Ultimately, the definition of a best man is the head groomsman—the one the rest of the group can go to with any and all questions so as not to bother the groom (think: How much do I owe for the bachelor party Airbnb? What time are we supposed to be at the ceremony site for the rehearsal?). One of the jobs of the best man is to be the point person and mediator between the groom and the rest of the crew when the groom's far too busy to worry about nitty-gritty groomsmen's details. Ultimately, it's up to him to make sure the others are showing up and performing theirgroomsmen duties.
2. Head Up the Formalwear Process
He's in charge of helping the groom choose and buy or rent wedding formalwear, as well as coordinating the other groomsmen ensembles—this might include gathering everyone's measurements, giving the group an order-by deadline or placing the actual order himself. He should talk to the groom about what he wants everyone to wear and whether everyone's expected to match or coordinate (the answer is likely yes). If so, ordering as a group may help save everyone a bit of money.
3. Plan an Awesome Bachelor Party
When someone asks, "What is the job of a best man?" the first thing that comes to mind is probably the bachelor party. And yes—whether it includes hitting up a local whiskey distillery or flying somewhere epic for a long weekend celebration—one of the duties of a best man isorganizing a bachelor party the groom will never forget. He should definitely enlist the other groomsmen to help him out with some of his best man bachelor party duties, like figuring out logistics and offering recommendations. Another thing to remember? He's not expected to pay for the entire bachelor party—the cost should be split evenly among everyone who attends the bash, barring the groom, of course.
4. Attend, Enjoy and Lend a Hand at Prewedding Events
Other than coming to the engagement party and shower (if applicable) and being Mr. Bachelor Party, the best man is expected to be at the ceremony rehearsal and rehearsal dinner with the couple, their families and the rest of the wedding party. If he hasn't had a chance to bond with the other half of the wedding party and say his heartfelt hellos to the couple's relatives, the rehearsal dinner is the perfect opportunity.
5. Buy a Wedding Gift
Look, we get it. The answer to "What does the best man pay for?" is... a lot. The attire, bachelor party, travel expenses, etc., cost a hefty hunk of change—but he still needs to purchase abest man gift for the groom. One idea would be to organize a group gift with the rest of the groomsmen, which can help save a little cash.
6. Take Charge of Transportation
This won't apply to everybody since lots of couples and their wedding parties hire transportation services to get from A to B—but the best man responsibility list could include driving the couple to the reception, wedding-night hotel or airport after the reception. If that's the case, he'll obviously need to stay sober throughout the wedding reception. But again, this is a responsibility that can be passed to the pros. If that's the case, we suggest he step up and hiretransportation for the newlyweds so he can enjoy the open bar.
7. Be His Right Hand on the Wedding Day
When the day finally comes, he'll be the groom's personal aide and adviser both before and during the wedding. This includes helping the groom get ready (here's a reminder onhow to tie a tie) on the morning of the wedding, delivering a letter to his future spouse, serving as a point person for vendors and making sure that the groom eats and drinks (we mean hydrating, not going overboard with the booze). Another best man wedding duty? He may be responsible for holding onto the groom's phone so he's not distracted, as well as helping to calm any prewedding jitters.
Remember: How to be a best man is all about being there for the groom on the biggest day of his life, whether that's helping with tasks to help alleviate stress, lending a friendly ear or making him laugh.
8. Be the Time Enforcer
One of the best man's duties is to ensure the groomsmen arrive on time for the rehearsal, prewedding activities and prep, the portrait session, the ceremony and more. Typically, he'll receive a timeline of events from the wedding planner or the groom himself (if he doesn't, he should ask!) and is responsible for communicating important times to the groom's crew to make sure everything stays on track.
9. Keep the Wedding Rings Safe
One of the most important responsibilities of a best man for a wedding? Keeping the wedding rings until it's time to exchange vows. He must find a safe place for the wedding rings (and triple-check that his pockets don't have holes!)—he doesn't want to be fumbling around when it's time to bring them out. If the ring bearer is carrying the rings down the aisle on a pillow, he'll fasten the rings to the pillow as he's lining up for the processional. When he reaches the end of the aisle, the ring bearer will pass the rings to him for safekeeping until they're requested by the officiant.
10. Stand Beside the Groom at the Altar
During thewedding processional, the best man traditionally walks down the aisle after the groom (at a Jewish wedding, the best man will enter right before the groom). Then, the best man will take his place standing closest to the groom at the altar, with the rest of the groomsmenlining up alongside. When the ceremony is over, the best man and maid of honor (or bridal party equivalent—even a bride can have a best man) typically pair up and exit side by side.
11. Sign the Marriage License
Directly after the wedding ceremony, he will sign the marriage license as a witness, along with the maid of honor, and hand the officiant a sealed envelope with their fee. The officiant will then send the marriage license to the county clerk's office, and the couple will then receive their official marriage certificate.
12. Act as Unofficial Reception Host
When his role as the best man in the wedding is finished, it's time for the reception duties. Does the bride's grandmother need help finding her seat? Is one of the flower girls dancing alone? Does it look like one of the groomsmen has had one too many signature cocktails before dinner? It's the best man's job to keep his eyes and ears open at the reception to make sure the newlyweds and guests are having a blast, and that the rest of the wedding party knows where they need to be and when. Other than that, he shouldn't be stiff and sober all night because he's "on duty." Yes, he should behave himself and be as helpful as possible, but being a beaming ball of joy and energy (aka getting out on the dance floor and keeping people's glasses full) throughout the party is one of the best things he can do.
13. Help Collect Gifts
Even if there is a designated gift table, wedding guests may still want to hand off their cards or presents to an actual person—and that's where the best man comes in. If a guest gives him a gift, it's his job to make sure it ends up in the right place, whether it's a card box, gift table or locked room. He may even be asked to deposit checks into the couple's bank account or at least keep them safe until the couple returns from their honeymoon.
14. Give the Best Man Speech
Perhaps one of the most popular best man traditions is givingthe best man speech during the reception. If following a traditional wedding speech timeline, the father of the bride and/or father of the groom will give their toast or toasts, followed by the maid of honor, and then it's his turn. Alternatively, the best man may be asked to give his speech during the rehearsal dinner.
15. Decorate the Getaway Car
If the couple's planning a noteworthy reception exit, he and the rest of the wedding party should help decorate the getaway vehicle. Of course, he must make sure he has permission from the vehicle's owner beforehand!
16. Tie Up Loose Ends After the Reception
The wedding went off without a hitch (so to speak)! But what is the best man responsible for after the wedding and reception? Well, he may be asked to help with certain tasks at the end of the night and the days following the wedding, like making sure vendors are tipped and paid, transporting gifts to the couple's home or another safe location and returning any rented attire.
Best Man vs. Groomsmen Responsibilities
The best man and groomsmen's duties are pretty similar, except the best man is the leader/point person and the groomsmen are participants. Of course, everyone has important jobs but the best man has certain added responsibilities. Here's how to define the best man role vs. the groomsmen:
Bachelor party
The best man heads up the bachelor party planning process, with the groomsmen providing support and assistance.
Attire
If the groomsmen are renting or buying their attire from the same retailer, the best man will make sure the order is placed, alterations are made and everyone receives their attire in a timely fashion.
Time enforcement
One of the most important best man responsibilities is ensuring the groomsmen know where to be and when. As "keeper of the schedule," the best man will send reminders to the rest of the crew and potentially coordinate transportation.
Marriage license
The best man and maid of honor typically sign the marriage license, while the groomsmen and bridesmaids do not.
Altar placement
At the ceremony, the best man gets the prime spot next to the groom at the altar, with the groomsmen lining up next to him.
Rings
The best man is responsible for keeping the wedding rings safe before and during the ceremony, while the groomsmen don't usually have any ring-related responsibilities.
Toast
When it comes to speeches, the best man usually represents the groom's crew by giving a solo toast at the wedding reception. The groomsmen may give a group toast at the rehearsal dinner or reception, but that isn't as common.
Additional reporting by Shyla Watson